Facing Insecurities as a Yoga Teacher
(Trigger warning. This blog talks about: mental health, anxiety and depression, larger body size, and eating disorders).
Last weekend, I had the pleasure of hosting my first in a series of teachers mentoring days. The day consisted of a 2-hour Hatha Sadhana on how to prepare the body physically and energetically for inversions, as well as an in-depth exploration of Raja Yoga philosophy as it pertains to the personal and professional lives of yoga teachers.
The theme was “facing insecurities.”
As we unpacked all the insecurities everyone shared — it was clear that they all linked to the idea that a person needs to be skinny, flexible, strong, calm, quiet, serene, look a certain way, act a certain way, etc. etc. etc. to be worthy of being called a yoga teacher. They shared stories of being shamed for their body size, structure, ability and the fact that they didn’t fit the marketable image of a yogi. As a result, they doubted themselves, asking:
“Am I enough to show up in front of others?”
Knowing each of these teachers, and the incredible life journeys they have made to be where they are today, I know that anyone who studies with them would be so lucky to have them as teachers. All of the teachers in the room have faced injury, addiction, trauma, pain, struggle, and suffering, and with all this, they found a path to peace, health and strength.
I was baffled why so many of them thought they were not good enough. Especially because I have seen how many people they have helped in their lives.
Unpacking this further we discovered that doubt shows up in the Yoga Sutras in Book 1: Sutra 30 as one of the mental distractions: “Disease, dullness, doubt, carelessness, laziness, sensuality, false perception, failure to meet firm ground and slipping from ground gained. These mental distractions are the obstacles.” These nine tamasic qualities that affect a person’s physical and mental health, leading to anxiety and depression.
Obviously the antidote is yoga, but it’s not as simple as getting on the yoga mat to do more asana. The whole purpose of Yoga is to realise the True Self, which means busting open any and all previous conditioning of our mindsets. Look at your current belief system and be open to the possibility that you have it all wrong.
The idea that we are not good enough and therefore need to “fix” ourselves to fit an image is at the root of capitalism — in order to feel better about ourselves, somehow, we need to buy into wellness and all the accessories that go along with it. Well, we do not need to reach an unattainable ideal of perfection. This is a toxic notion and sets everyone up to fail.
I choose not to buy into toxic diet culture and the false image of wellness.
Skinny does not equal healthier or more peaceful, or even more yogic or meditative. A strong, flexible body does not guarantee you happiness. I know many strong, supple kick-ass asana teachers who are amazing human beings, incredible yoga teachers, and still suffer from eating disorders and mental anxiety. (If you’re reading this and you’re suffering like this, please know that there is another way of being. I hope you’ll join me in breaking away from this conditioning and help spread the message — free your mind and help me free others too!)
Here’s how to break away from a conditioned mindset and bust open your consciousness:
First, accept your limitations of being a human being;
Second, embrace your strengths and life experiences and valuable of sharing with others;
Third, stop being judgemental of yourself and others;
Fourth, normalise diversity of bodies and abilities that show up in yoga spaces (and your social media);
Finally, call out the nonsense of unattainable ideals and make your voice loud and proud.
It is my hope that all the teachers who come through my classes, understand the importance of empowering their students to repeat these steps and ripple it out to those that need it the most.
Our next Mentoring Day is schedule for December 11, 2021 and because we didn’t have enough time to do what we wanted this time around, I’m making this a full-day experience to cover much more.
#empoweredinclusiveyoga
#stoptoxicdietculture
#falseimageofwellness